Wednesday, August 7, 2013

When did Blogging become a chore! I

I swear blogging became a chore that one day back in 2012! Ohhh how interesting my dating life, spiritual life, parenting life and everything has been..Not to mention this girl has soo upgraded with her wine options. Life has been life and that's all I can say..At then end of 2012 I toasted with one of my girlfriends that that yr could burn and 2013 was going to be a BANNER YEAR. So far 2013 has been good..I have had your typical ups and downs and tragedies soo thus far..However 5 more months are left and I know that there is GREATER still ahead. As for the dating scene..ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm I'll say this men and women will never understand each other and I will continue to be cautious. But back to blogging being a chore I would love to update all 12 of my followers but DUDEEEE it's sooo time consuming! However now that life has somewhat slowed down maybe and I mean MAYBE I could commit once a week..*kanye shrug* we will see. So with that said I am going to leave you cyber space because there is a nice glass of red wine waiting for me and I feel like it is only proper that I go and grab it! Until next time... Keep it Sexi T

Thursday, April 26, 2012

An Update I guess HuH!

So where do I start...I really want to get back in the groove of this whole blogging thing it is just very time consuming but since I just celebrated 30 and all that fun JAZZ!!! How about I try and blog about the yr of 30!..Let me just start off by saying the week before and during my bday were some of the hellish weeks of my life, like to the point where I didn't even think I was going to see April 15,2012. However let me tell ya when you think you are at the lowest point of your life you truly realize how much GOD has got your back and how great it is to have such a wonderful support system..So THANKS to all of my FRIENDS/SISTERS & BROTHERS who talked me off the ledge and encouraged me during that time. Now enough heavy stuff lets get on to the fun stuff like curls,wine,dating, and maybe even reality TV!!!!! So the weather is getting warmer here in Charlotte which means twists outs and blowouts may not be the vision..Instead more protective styling will be in order..My go to style for this spring was a stretched braid out..like below..
Now this was day 1 which means it was kind of low and tamed..however over the next couple of days it blossomed into this full beauty of waves that I LOVED!!! All I did was blow my hair dry, I then mixed Eco Styler Gel with Shea Moisture Curling Milk and applied it to each section as I braided..I didn't keep the sections the same size they were kind of a multitude of them all, I completed each braid with a perm rod to give my ends some curl..This left my hair very soft and just fluffy..To maintain I would either pull it up into a pineapple or just sleep on my satin pillowcase..I know I know were supposed to protect our ends but I didn't..(slaps hand) Normally I could shake my hair and just proceed..If I wanted to have some more definition I would re braid for about 45 minutes while prepping. It's a very low key easy style that truly became my staple! Length wise I am doing very good at retention..I wash once a month and co wash once a week, I get my ends clipped once every couple months so I am pleased! Once I figure out what my summer regime is going to be I'll be back to let ya know.. So since the last time I was here I have come across soooo many new wines!! Most recently being Beringer Founders’ Estate Smooth Red Blend I rec'd this as a birthday gift..
It is a very inexpensive wine and is described as a fusion of Cabernet, Merlot, Syrah and Petite Sirah. Together, these grapes display flavors of ripe raspberries, blackberries and plums with a hint of brown spice and vanilla that lead to a smooth finish, hence its name. I must say this is such a smooth blend it is very full but such and easy drink..With a nice dark meal like pasta,steak,nothing light. This has actually since then become a go to wine for me and a bottle I keep in my home. Those who know me know that I love love love wine and keep at least 1 to 2 bottles available at all times. :) Well I guess that is enough gabbing for now..I have to get back to work which I do from home...and I have to do house things..Plus I have to pack someone's heading to the beach next week!!! Things are looking up and 30 definitely is not bad matter of fact the best is definitely yet to come..

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Marriage u think ur ready??

I am changing direction today for a lil bit..I want to talk marriage and unhappiness because for some reason it has been on my mind a lot latley.
Soo by now I am sure everyone in the world has heard about KK and KH and their 72 day marriage etc..


Now this post is about to real transparent..

Some of this information is going to be new for those around me..

I posted on my FB the day of the news this: "with KK and KH divorcing it brings such sadness but its real how many folks get married for the "title" or the "wedding" can I be transparent..(raises hand) And the reality is they (I was) really may have been in love after 6 months we don't know as we were not in their relationship behind close doors...Do you think time had something to do with it?? Here's my thoughts everyone w...ants to be married BUT if your not ready to FIGHT,forgive, submit (ladies this is real) and be humbled your not ready and that's just a few..It's not about the wedding it's about the marriage and the covenant that takes place...So those who walk around screaming about how bad you want to be married pump the breaks and really ask yourself if you are..When it's God ordained time doesn't matter.."

3 years ago I was a KK I wanted to be married,I wanted the wedding,I wanted the husband,I wanted the baby..everything that makes up the American dream..yup that's what I wanted..Needless to say what I wanted and what I got were 2 completely different things..I truly loved my ex..I cared for him, I luved him..Did I have doubts..YES however I figured we could work through those things..We had been dating for 2 years it was time I was getting antsy, I was tired of the "church folk" always asking so when are you guys getting married?? Not to mention we were trying to really stay in the will of GOD..(Can we say HARD)..no pun intended..We started off as friends and somewhere along our relationship friends became me being like his mom.. Now keep in mind he was 4 yrs my junior as well..I recall one night I went out with a friend because I felt like I could not do the relationship anymore..It had been 2 freaking years I was ready..we had got into this huge fight about kids and I was saying I wanted one like yesterday and that if he didn't see us going anywhere we needed to end the relationship..It was as though..no it was me backing him into a corner..I saw everyone around us getting married and I wanted it soo bad, because let's be real ladies marriage is validation...When we have a man we feel validated..However with marriage comes another level of validation..So when he proposed I felt like MS.THANG like look I got a real GOOD MAN who knows how to handle his..And in an instant we went into planning mode "wedding mode" and almost hubs and wife mode..within like one month I had moved out of my apt to move back home and moved my stuff into his place(his first apt) we had combined accounts and he went into step-dad mode..As I think back WTH were we thinking..But it was my thinking and he never complained he just went with the flow..A lot of this had to do with the fact that since I had been living on my own forever and I had a child the assumption was ohh it makes since she's been there before she knows what makes since..WRONG...I walked down the aisle with doubts that I figured we could work through and just like Kim I was caught up in the planning of a wedding I was wrapped up and my main concern was about what would ppl think..so you choose to keep going through the motions...(Because you figure you will work through and the doubts will fade away) Fast forward we got married and again I instantly went into control mode and mom mode..and as I look back I will always say I was 35% his wife 65% his mom..I always made decisions and I never fell back and submitted..So when Nov. 2010 came and we got into the biggest fight and we threw our rings and he walked out after he cussed me out I was hurt but not surprised. (You see we both had a problem communicating (and I was a communications major go figure) if something was wrong on his end it would be "nothing" and if it was wrong on my end I would do that oh imma hold it in so I could have the upper hand and talk about it when it was convenient for me)..I called my BFF because they have watched our relationship and told her what happened she talked me into calling him or emailing one and he ended up coming back we talked but throughout the talk more things came out..We both were not happy and had not been for a while for him since June 09 for me since summer 10..for 1/2 of our marriage (in the 2.5) he was not happy but he stayed but I didn't know he wasn't happy but he stayed until everything hit the fan and we both stopped liking each other. Now I hadn't been happy either but it had only been a few months so you give it time..However after that conversation which led to other conversations where things were said that had been bottled up for a while..I checked out and the struggle became to stay or to go..We had no kids, no assets, hell we didn't really have anything besides the bank accounts & furniture.. I struggled for 3 months deciding to stay I went to counseling,I talked to friends, I talk to my mom, and finally I talked to GOD, I was so worried about everyone Else's opinions until one day I just shut up and listened and then I said the words out of my mouth "I want to end this and get a divorce"...My happiness and Kel's happiness was the most important to me and I was not happy I couldn't stand to be around my ex and vice versa..Had we stayed together it would have been for everyone else and not us..I struggled with the covenant we made with God we were going to break this and all I could think was were going to be cursed forever and ever..But then I prayed and I asked God for forgiveness and I asked him to teach both of us how to forgive each other and how to one day like each other again..Not to mention just not being afraid to love and to be married again..When we decided to get a divorce we were at Panera and we both said we would never get married again..We just didn't see it happening.. Now what most ppl don't know is that I still see my therapist at least once a month and I realized that I do want that happiness and I do want to love again.. But let's back up and ask how long do you stay unhappy..Marriage has got to be one the toughest fights of your life and I truly believe that if you are unhappy you don't have to be..You can change your situation at any time. You can choose to stay and fight or you can choose to walk however I do think you have to give it time.. My ex and I say we tried but I laugh because we fake tried for 6 months..Neither of us really wanted to humble ourselves and make this work..Because in marriage you must humble yourself, you must be a forgiver, you must be open minded, and you must be ready to FIGHT for your marriage...I think about if we had stayed together and lets say we stayed unhappy for the next 3 yrs and then we got a divorce..I think that would have did more damage to both us. My son would have been in an environment in which he would have watched our relationship thinking this is how it is supposed to be..I know your supposed to fight but I didn't want to and after a while he didn't either and we didn't like each other.I wanted to be happy..I felt like 1000 bricks had been lifted off my shoulders when we made the decision to end it. I felt so free...I was slowly getting my joy and my happiness back and I missed that happiness and joy. I will never talk negative about my ex because I know that he is a good man and I know that he is going to make an awesome father and husband to a wonderful woman someday.. All I want is for him to be happy..

So you read my story, so do you stay unhappy in a marriage..people say 2.5 yrs isn't enough some say 7 yrs isn't enough..we can't keep putting time limits on things can we.. I mean the ex and I dated for 2 yrs. so a total of 4.5yrs we spent together we knew each other but things happen..I think each situation is different and it is surely a case by case basis..Now 72 days that is touchy to each its own..I will say 3 months is not long enough to know someone but..ok you got me I can't even justify it..haha.I do have some friends who are going through a tough time been together in the upper teens and have been unhappy for 3 yrs and are now thinking about it..3 yrs of unhappiness..See for me that won't work I don't handle unhappiness or stress well and even though we put on a good show for everybody behind close doors...yeah...no comment. The reality there are a lot of couples like my ex and I..I think it is important that after the vows are said and the dress is put away that you continue to do counseling and figure out ways to make your marriage better on a daily basis.

So many of us women and men want to be married and we want kids and we want that "American dream" but as my status says unless your ready to fight,be transparent,be HUMBLED and SUBMISSIVE and FORGIVING!!! (when u know somebody wrong) don't jump in..People say that not everyday will be a happy day in your marriage or it won't be perfect and this is true but I also believe that when you marry your best friend you may have unhappy days but he or she will be able to pick you up..Even when your unhappiness has to do with them I believe in my heart of hearts that you can choose to make it better..Call me a sap for a love...

Life Experiences are always the best experiences,I never thought I would be in the place that I am with regards to relationships in general but I am and I am learning to patient and just learning..

As always keep it Sexi..
Tash

P.S. I would luv to hear your thoughts you can be anonymous too..

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Shea Moisture Curling Souffle

I am excited to try this tonight I will be back with a full review...

The Journey of my Curlz...

So yesterday while working (of all things) I decided I needed a new You Tube Video..So I posted a video showing the journey of my natural hair this yr..I really loved it so you know a new one is coming soon starting from the beginning!! Check out my 2011 journey and let me know your thoughts...I will be back later with some updates and thoughts but I wanted to get this video out ASAP!




As Always
Keep it sexi..
Curly T

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Season's Change & Just a yr???

So it is officially Fall and as excited as I am to pull out my cute boots, scarves, over sized sweaters etc. I can't help but get somewhat bleh because now I have to work out my new hair regime..Now you are probably thinking why not use the same as last year..However here is why I can't do this..My hair has changed soo much in the past year..My curl pattern has taken a miraculously turn for the better and I have to figure out what my hair wants to make sure I don't have shedding and dryness this fall/winter season because this happens bad to me... So this past week I started this new regime and I already think I may like it..I am washing my hair every 3-4 days to maintain moisture however I am trying Shea Moisture Raw Shea Butter Moisture Retention Shampoo & Restorative Conditioning Milk..

Now let me just say to start off this stuff STINKS!!! It is all organic and infused with different oils and natural ingredients..Now my hair normally luves Shea Moisture so I figured my hair would do well and of course it did..However I will say I despise the smell soo bad so to off set it I make sure I use a more scent friendly leave in..However I have been using this for about 2 weeks and soo far so good..I use this along with my Giovanni Direct Leave In and it has definitely left my hair feeling I will say nice. It has helped with breakage aka shedding which I suffer from bad the minute it gets cold.I tell you it's bad...Again I cannot emphasize how important it is to make sure that your hair is and stays moisturized when the weather becomes cooler..It is very important as the air is soo much dryer... Tomm we will talk styling products..

So transitioning on to other topics...yesterday as I was getting ready for the day I was doing my normal routine of checking out Russ Parr and his crew and Russ made the comment of "if a man has not committed by a year he won't" So in my normal fashion I posted this on my FB because I wanted to hear what my FB fam thought of this statement...As I predicted the ladies agreed with the statement and the men did not..Sooo let me just chime in on my opinion..In a simple nutshell once you get a certain age you know who you want to be with, you know if you see a future or not, and after a year..ladies if he has not established what you are and who you are it is time to chuck deuces..I personally refuse to waste time on a relationship that is pointless and aimlessly not going anywhere..Now yes you could say it is my fault if I am "kickin it/hanging out" with someone and we have not established some terms to say the least but let me also be clear I am not saying after a year you need to run off and get married, move in, have an acct..none of that I am saying that the commitment level and terms of the relationship should be fully established..#justsayin

As Always..
Keep it Sexi..(an oldie but goodie) <-----This is coming back folks stay tuned...
Curly T

Monday, October 10, 2011

Whyyyy??? with some curls and wine...

Sooo I have not formally announced this and I think due to some recent activity in my life I finally can...For those who don't know CurlyT is no longer married..there I said it..Here is why I said it..In the past couple of weeks I have been either emailed,text or approached about my ex and how someone has seen him, how he is in a new relationship etc..FYI for all the world to hear..I don't CARE!!! I am still trying to understand why ppl think I care. I don't and the more you tell me the more annoyed I get. So please for the love of God my sweet people stop informing me about the life of A and move on..We sure have..
Now onto better topics like Curls and wine..As you saw in my previous pic a chica has some hangtime happening for real and I LOVE it!! I cannot explain how much I love my stylist she has my hair just on the path to greatness I tell ya..I wish I would have found her when I originally began to transition..So below is one of my most recent hair pics..I had did a wash and go with Jane Carter Curl Defining Cream..This was day 2 hair and I loved this look!! I saw NikkiMae do it on one of her blog entries and just knew I had to try it and it came out great..I will review that defining cream and how I even did the look later this week.. But for now enjoy the pic..


To top off the awesome curls that were happening last week I also came across a great red wine..With the fall upon us it is now all about the Cabernet's,Merlot,The Blends, all of the great reds that many of us like..So I ventured out to lunch with a friend (yes lunch) and decided to do a glass of Ravenswood Zinfandel Blend..

To say it was good is an understatement..It was such an amazing wine I truly enjoyed it to the full extent..So much that I needed a case..(OK well maybe 1/2 case) It is bold and full and the way the cherries (blackberry style),raspberry and blueberries blended together made for a great taste..So here is the best thing about this wine..It is only $6.99 a bottle which equals #WINNNING in my book.. If your a lover of reds I soo recommend this blend..

Happy Sipping & Bouncy Curls!!
Tash Aka CurlyT